So you’re living a nice, comphy, kinda satisfying life… safe inside your comfort zone. Maybe on the outside it even looks like you ‘have it all’ but there is this feeling in the bottom of your stomach that something isn’t quite right… that it’s not enough, that there is something bigger out there and you just don’t know what it is…
I started asking myself this question a couple of years ago (Spoiler alert: the answer was a big fat NO at that time but let us not jump ahead). My life was great, I felt like “I had it all”, or at least accomplished a lot of things I thought I wanted. I was kind of happy but also always frustrated. I kept asking myself and those around me “is this it?” (Sarcastic tune included).
There is only one success, to be able to spend your life in your own way | Christopher Morley
Since I’ve realized the answer was no, this isn’t the best life for me, I went on a journey to figure out why not and how can I change it.
I’ve started reading obsessively, listening to every podcast, mentor and article around and learning all about personal growth and self-development. Learning how to add a little bit of happiness to my life every day.
I began doing Pilates twice a week, I took a photography class, learned Italian, pursued different hobbies, started going out more and doing some traveling (still inside my comfort zone) and my energies were high through the roof. I was vibrant and happy. But… it still wasn’t enough.
You see… what I realized was that living a great life wasn’t all fun and games. Literally. Although I’m a firm believer in them, self-care and joy just aren’t enough sometimes.
I realized that for me, it meant changing things on a deeper level, stepping (FAR) outside my comfort zone and A LOT of soul-searching and Self-reflection. Let me tell ya’ll, it wasn’t easy nor fun but digging down to the bottom of your soul, looking for answers (or just asking questions), is a necessary step In self-development. It definitely changed my life.
Ok. Let’s get down to business and try to figure out what the hell it means to live your best life or LYBL for short (please don’t make me write down the whole sentence every time).
The most important part of “Living your best life” is well, YOUR. Let’s put aside for a second the perfect Pinterest picture in your mind of the life you think you need to have and evaluate what’s important to you objectively and honestly.
In order for it to be YOUR best life, you have to figure out who YOU are. Don’t think about the lives you see on Instagram, don’t try to be like anyone else, don’t compare and definitely get rid of all the “should haves”. Just be you and figure out what YOU want out of this life.
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” Jim Rohn
This is a good time to ask a whole bunch of questions.
Unlike math, here you don’t have a right answer. For some, fulfillment is having a big family, for others, it’s finding a job they’re super excited about or traveling the world full time. Try to figure out what will make YOU happy.
Don’t worry, this process can be a total ‘trial and error’ and the answers could also change with time. But you can’t hit a target without seeing it first. So start with setting some goals.
It’s ok to want things – we all do. But in order to accomplish greatness and setting the right goals, we need to understand why we want the things we want.
After you’ve written down all the things you think will make you happy try to think about the ‘why’. What drives you? Is it a limiting belief, is it because “everybody’s doing it”, is it because you thought your whole life that this is the right way.
Ask yourself some hard questions and also question everything. Why do you want to have a baby, why do you want to travel the world, why do you want a different job? What about those things will make you happy?
Sometimes we set a wrong goal but there is never a wrong “why”. Does this make sense to you? We all want love, security, fulfillment but sometimes we are couth in misconceptions of how to get them.
Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you | Timothy Ferriss
This is the time to dig deep (deep) down inside and find out what motivates you. Once you figured that out go back to the list of goals and review it. Maybe you wrote down ‘work more hours in order to get promoted’ because what you really wish is to feel accomplished but now that you know the “why” maybe you can get it in other ways. More pleasurable ways hahaha
As I’ve mentioned, for me, adding more fun into my life wasn’t enough. I had this painful feeling in my stomach that I wasn’t living my life’s purpose. The funny thing is that I knew what I was doing was wrong but I didn’t know what’s right.
Finding your life’s purpose is perhaps one of the hardest steps to LYBL, and many people search for it their whole lives. Or in the worst case scenario, they know what it is but never pursued it because of fear/limiting beliefs/peer pressure etc.
We all know that super talented singer in our lives or that great cook (and I’m not talking hubby level) that went on becoming lawyers or engineers just because it’s a solid profession. You know who I’m talking about…
If you need help, seek it. It could be a friend or a significant other but you’ll make much more progress with a professional – a coacher, a therapist – or anybody you feel can help you ask the tough questions and maybe even answer them.
As a self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist (with an occasional relapse here and there) I say – f*** perfection. Perfection is boring. I believe LYBL means living authentically. The closer you are to alignment to who you truly are, the happier you’ll be.
Stop thinking about the things you “‘need” to accomplish just because you are a certain age or because everybody is doing it. Don’t think about what you “should” do, think about the things you want to do.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do…Explore. Dream. Discover | Mark Twain
The key to living your best life is to listen to your inner desire and being open-minded about where your path could take you. It might be something unexpected or different then you imagined.
We used to live in a world where people associated success with money, prestige, reputation, material things. And some people still do. But if you look around you’ll see much more people that don’t.
For me, success in life is fulfillment, peace of mind and joy. You choose how to define success for yourself. I really don’t want to use all the “you only live ones” clichés but well… you kinda do.
Creating the life you want requires a commitment to personal growth. And personal growth a lot of time requires effort, the willingness to change and the strength to do things that are difficult.
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do | John Wooden
Once you’ve decided that this is what you want, going on a personal journey towards your best life will require a strength of character as the journey could be long and challenging. You’ll need to make difficult decisions that may include walking away from places and people that no longer serve you, breaking habits and building new ones.
Once you’re dedicated to living your best life you’ll do what it takes to make it happen. It’s not going to be easy and it might not be a quick solution be if you’ll try hard enough and commit to it, I promise you’ll get there.
The time is now. Living out to your true purpose means understanding that life is happing right now and if you’ll wait until you get the job/car/partner/house/diploma to be happy, you’ll never be happy.
“IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.” | Lewis Carroll
Start working today on what you want for yourself tomorrow. Be bold, take chances, take risks, and don’t be afraid to fail. Worst case? You’ll come back to what you have now… you have nothing to lose unless you try.
If we are asking ourselves all these questions I want to leave you with 4 more. A great inspirational video by Jim Rohn. Take a couple of minutes to ponder these questions…
For me, the journey to finding my purpose in life and thus truly living my best life isn’t over yet. It’s so much easier just to be alive than actually live life. I ask myself these questions constantly and when I find answers – I question those.
In the past year I’ve taken a step outside my comfort zone, and then another step and another one… Firmly on my way to well, somewhere good. And it feels AMAZING. In the next couple of posts, I’ll be sharing more of my journey here so stay tuned…
Can you relate? Do you feel like your on the way to living your best life? How do YOU pursue it? Would love to hear your thoughts about it…