Let’s start with the fact that it sucks to fail. I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you – it sucks sooo bad. Come on, Nobody in his right mind likes to fail. So why am I telling you I can’t wait for my new business to flop??

As you might know by now I’m an architect. This was how I defined myself for the past 10 years (ok first as an architecture student but don’t be picky…).

Well, that was until about a year ago. Since then I’ve added ‘traveler’, ‘digital nomad’, ‘blogger’, (self-proclaimed) ‘happiness strategist’ and most recent ‘entrepreneur’ to my line of titles.

Although I’m a privet person, as I step into this crazy experience of entrepreneurship (and stepping outside of my comfort zone), trying to make it on my own, I would like to share this journey with you.

But Jeni, if you’re a privet person how come you’re sharing this here?

Oh! Great question. I’m so happy you asked.

Sharing is caring

First of all, I went through (and actually still going through) a major life change as you might say – In my personal status, my career but most importantly in my belief system. This change was definitely an internal journey but it was powered by inspiring people I came across, off and on-line. Their stories, inspirational thoughts and mottos are what kept me going and pushing myself even in the darker days (and there were definitely some of those). So maybe this will too help someone else somehow.

I’m not anything special (well, unless you ask my mama) and I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary except for boldly pursuing the life I want for myself (you can read about it here).

Secondly, well, blogging it’s cheaper than therapy hahaha. Somehow putting my thoughts out there is just a wonderful catharsis, helping me to sort things through as I write… If this inspires at least one person it will be worth it.

Ok, now let us talk about failure.

I can wait to fail and why should you too

Failing is hard. It’s painful, it’s embarrassing and unpleasant. It hurts us in our very core. But sometimes failure is important and even necessary on the road to success.

My parents, God bless them, raised me not to fail. You didn’t succeed? Ok, they said – so work harder and harder until you do. Failure wasn’t really an option when I grew up and I’m kinda happy about it. It made me stronger, more ambitious and a super stubborn goal getter (I could have lived without the last one but oh well…)

It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default | J.K. Rowling

But because of this “successes at all cost” kinda mentality I think it made me, unconsciously, take fewer risks and be more cautious so I would minimize my chances to fail. So for the bigger part of my life, I didn’t take big chances – You know, one of the best things in living inside your comfort zone is being really good at things which means almost never failing or failing so small that it wouldn’t really hurt or move you towards action.

This is also a common mistake for beginner business owner – trying to avoid failure at all cost. Starting so small that it won’t hurt you once you crash. And you will, everybody does.

This is what I wanted to do in the beginning- stating the smallest business possible in order not to risk it too much. But what life has thought me for the past year is that the bigger the risk you take – the bigger the reward will be.

Once you realize failure is a possibility (and an inevitable part of life) and you’re not afraid of it anymore, you welcome it – it will make you reach the highest tops possible and really make your dreams come true.

P.s this is true in pretty much every aspect of life.

So let’s have a look at the positive side of failure and how to embrace it…

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I apologize in advance for all the clichés – bear with me, ok?

#1 –understand it’s just a part of the story

Ever heard those stories of wildly successful famous people who failed miserably before they were even famous. Yeah, so it’s like that.

You must think “oh, they got lucky” but let me tell you – luck had nothing to do with that. It’s just the blunt understanding that a failure is just a step on the road to success, it’s not the endpoint.

It’s okay to fail. It is not okay to give up | Clare LaMeres

My favorite failure story of all times has to be the one of Thomas Edison – the guy and the light bulb. Who’s gone through over 9,000 failed attempts just to say “Why would I feel like a failure? I now know definitely over 9,000 ways an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.” what a man, am I right?

The lesson here is persistence, persistence, persistence. Try to see the failure as just a part of your story and always have your eyes on the prize.

Want to read more about Famous People Who Failed before Succeeding? Check out this post

#2 know that growth happens in the trenches

Personally, over the years, I’ve learned to love the word “no” because it only made me work even harder and be even better solely to prove the other person wrong.

Before I applied to architecture school my teacher at that time said I didn’t have enough talent and I shouldn’t even try. After I was excepted my first year (and second year) teachers told me I didn’t have what it takes to finish architecture school, and I should probably quit before I waste too much of my time.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference | Winston Churchill

One possible way of dealing with that could have been to just give up, quit, drop out or surrender – well you get my point… the other one was to see this setback as an opportunity to grow, to try harder, to become better. Ending up in graduating with honors and winning awards along the way.

I really can’t say that if I was just average (and didn’t fail so hard in the beginning) I would have gotten to where I am today. Failure can tear you down but it also builds you to be stronger and better. If you’ve also been knocked down to the ground, get back on your feet, shake it off and push even harder to show that nothing can break you.

Cliché alert: What doesn’t kill you does makes you stronger.

#3 learn to become good at failing

We’ve already established that failure is inevitable, right? And would happen to you more than once in your lifetime. So why not learn how to fail the “right” way. The more we fail, the better we become at it AKA we become more resilient.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm | Winston Churchill

Resilience is definitely a must quality when starting your own venture. True success won’t come overnight, it may take months and most likely years, so better be ready for it.

The first rule any veteren entrepreneur will tell you? Fail as fast as you can. Don’t wait till you’re too over your head in love with your idea. Fail at the beginning, fail quickly,fail cheap and in a smart way. You must learn how to fail in order to learn to succeed.

#4 bitch, be humble

While success can lead to having your head in the clouds there is nothing more humbling than failure. It keeps you grounded and focused on hard work and effort instead of the fluff of winning.

#5 use failure as a compose

Sometimes in life (and in business), we don’t have a clear sense of direction… We choose a path and we don’t know if it is the right one or not. With failure – you know the path you’ve chosen isn’t the right one –HOW GREAT IS THAT?

Now you can adjust your way, make smarter decisions and go on your path again smarter and more experienced. Sometimes failing at one thing will just lead you to success on a whole new path you never thought of before. Instead of beating yourself up – Just ask yourself how could I have done better? What do I need to improve?

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. Henry Ford

Research out of Stanford University has shown that those who are at the top of their field are the ones who have failed the most. Having to learn a new skill gives you the advantage over someone who gets it right first time. Learning many ways how not to do it gives you the edge over the person who hasn’t have that experience.

#6 enjoy the sweet taste of success

Nothing taste as good as success except for success that comes after a failure. Yeah, we all like to win, to accomplish, and to succeed but when climbing to the top is longer, you appreciate it so much more.

In conclusion,

Once you embrace failure as your friend and learn how to manage it and use it for your own good, you’ll become undefeatable. You won’t be as afraid to take risks, you won’t avoid the boundaries of your comfort zone and you won’t turn down opportunities that might lead you to something great just because of the fear to fail.

Always remember that Failing is trying. And if we don’t try we’ll never have the option to succeed.

Wishing us all to fail wisely and successfully,
XX,

Jeni

P.S. I would love to hear more from you! Did you find this helpful? Comment below with questions, comments, or what you would like to see in future posts